Guidance

What can you do to ensure that conflicts in the team can be resolved constructively?

There are conflicts in teams everywhere.

Are you a manager and leading a team? Well, then you know: where there are people, there are always conflicts. This is quite normal and almost never fails to happen. The important thing is how you deal with the conflict:

If conflicts in the team are not addressed at all and smoulder for months, even years, then they will explode or constantly worsen the atmosphere – unless you find ways to resolve conflicts constructively and objectively.

As a manager, you naturally have a very special role to play in team conflicts.

Let’s solve conflicts together!

In this article, we take a look at the different types of conflict in a team, what you can do specifically when trouble is in the air – and what you should avoid…

Would you like direct support? Team development helps to resolve conflicts. Coaching will teach you how to deal with conflicts better.

Arrange a free initial consultation for advice on conflicts >>>

How do conflicts arise in a team?

We all know the unpleasant feeling when things go wrong at home, whether privately or professionally – it’s usually very nerve-wracking. There are many opportunities to clash, especially in a professional context. – But why is that?

Where do these conflicts come from?

Differences

Sometimes people don’t get along because they tick differently: employee A is always punctual, takes things very seriously and attaches great importance to detailed compliance with rules and processes; employee B, however, is more the creative type, comes up with good ideas, but is sometimes a bit chaotic, which generously includes unpunctuality. If both could see the strengths and advantages that the other’s differences bring with them, a lot would be gained; however, as humans we are: We are most likely to notice what we miss. A wonderful basis for conflicts…

Performance

Sometimes an employee doesn’t perform as expected and holds up the whole team, which is usually met with displeasure.

Behaviors

An employee often displays behavior that triggers negative feelings in another employee. Sometimes behavior is also misinterpreted: “He’s arrogant” or “She probably thinks she’s better!”

Interface problems

There are also so-called interface problems, which means that responsibilities are not clearly defined. The employees are at loggerheads because things are not running smoothly and each employee suspects that the other is simply not doing enough. A problem that clearly needs to be solved by the manager.

Rank and role conflicts

Rank and role conflicts are also very popular. An example: the older employee thinks that he deserves more respect and esteem because of his age and the fact that he has been with the company longer. Although the younger employee is aware that she is younger, she sees herself as more competent with regard to the current challenges. She knows that she knows her way around better and believes that age and sitting in a chair do not make an employee’s opinion any more valuable than her own.

Incidents

Sometimes something has happened between coworkers that has hurt one or both of them, and the people involved have not yet found a way to deal with it well.

Changes in the team composition

New additions to the company are also a wonderful opportunity to come into conflict. With every change in a team, the catchy forming phase – also known as the warming or familiarization phase – is followed by storming, the phase in which different interests become apparent and may clash. We still need to find ways and rules for working together smoothly. Interestingly, there are also the same phases in the private sphere, for example when falling in love: once the first pink clouds have faded, you quickly realize that your wonderful partner also has rough edges that rub you the wrong way.

You can find out more about the different phases in our article on team development.

We have listed the most common reasons for disputes here. It is certainly relatively easy to find many other reasons to disagree. The list could be extended.

Video Conflicts in an agile environment

A productive corporate culture also includes dealing constructively with conflicts. In the VUCA world in particular, it is important to recognize them quickly and address them swiftly in order to remain competitive in the market. Can methods be adopted from other environments? What is the iceberg model all about? Oliver talks about differences, but also similarities that are context-independent in the new video.

What to do in the event of team conflicts?

What can you do as a manager when employees argue – or what should you definitely do?

We show you how to resolve conflicts!

You can find 10 helpful tips for you as a manager when dealing with conflicts in your team in our white paper
“Conflict management for managers”

Click here to download:

To the white paper Conflict management
ment for managers

1. find out what’s going on!

Your first step should be to ask yourself: am I really aware of what’s going on in the team? As the boss, am I awake enough and close enough to the team to notice what’s going wrong? Do I have my ear to the rail? Am I communicating sufficiently with my team in this regard?

2. stay active!

But how do you make sure that you notice when your team is burdened by conflicts? What specifically can you do?

Relying on the fact that you will somehow find out when an argument has broken out is not enough. You need to take action!

- Have regular conversations with your employees! Invite them to one-on-one meetings! Take them out for lunch and just chat with them for a while.
- Organize regular team meetings that include dialogue between all colleagues.
- Show interest in the employees, go through the team and ask them how they are doing.

If you don’t do this, conflicts are often not disclosed and continue to fester unresolved. Here they often cause great damage, for example by reducing the team’s performance or even causing team members to leave.

Remember: It is a fundamental task of every manager to ensure that the team runs smoothly.

3. localize conflicts in the team!

You’ve gotten wind that there are conflicts in the team. But what now?

First find out whether the conflict affects individuals in the team or whether the entire team is involved!

Depending on where tensions have arisen in the team, a tailored approach or appropriate conflict management is recommended. We will now go into this in more detail.

Who has the conflict?

Conflicts in the team can arise at different points. There are conflicts

in the overall team
from individual employees to each other
between manager and employee

10 tips: Conflicts in the overall team

1. take your time

If the conflict affects the whole team, you should take time together with the whole team to work through the conflict. One possibility would be a team development measure.

It is important that you create the basis for the conflicts to be brought to the table – in a factually objective manner. Everyone in the team must be given the opportunity to talk openly about problems and express their opinions.

2. support from moderators

The process should be moderated. Internal or external moderators ensure that everyone gets a chance to speak and has the courage to say where it hurts. A good moderator knows a wealth of – even unusual – methods to first map out what is going on in the team before working on it together. They control the process of how things are addressed so that everyone has enough time to express themselves and the others listen respectfully, so that the process remains constructive.

Professionally supervised team development by the berliner team can help you to address issues in good time and set the course for good cooperation.

Arrange a free initial consultation for advice on conflicts >>>

3. constructive atmosphere

It cannot be emphasized often enough how important a constructive atmosphere is for resolving conflicts! If people have the confidence to open up, give feedback or admit mistakes, then critical issues can be resolved constructively. If this atmosphere does not exist, inhibitions and fears dominate communication, critical issues are avoided and conflicts are sat out. This usually makes things worse.

Remember: It’s not about clarifying who is to blame, but rather about finding solutions together that everyone can live with as well as possible.

4. feedback rules

Feedback rules provide a structure for how to express yourself in conflicts so that nobody feels attacked. We have written an article on this essential topic: How to give constructive feedback: 10 rules for successful feedback

So make sure that your team knows and can apply the feedback rules. The more opportunities for constructive feedback you integrate into everyday team life, the fewer conflicts you will have.

A great format for feedback from the whole team is the retrospective – feel free to contact us!

Retro planning 🙂

5. factual or emotional

Find out: Is the conflict factual or emotional?

There are situations and phases in which emotional conflicts are are the norm are the norm. Here are a few examples:

Changes in the team, such as new additions, departures, changes to roles and responsibilities

We mentioned at the beginning that there are different phases when a team comes together. Find out more here: Team development: How a group becomes a team
If the conflict arises during a storming phase because the team has been reorganized, it is important to discuss the different expectations of each other, to make it clear that such storming is completely normal and to discuss a joint approach for the future.
When resistance arises in a change process, it is important that everyone can name their issues and feels understood. It is normal for a change process to be emotional at times, because change is not always easy. And sometimes one or two helpful ideas are hidden in the resistance. It’s worth listening.

In emotional conflicts, the most important thing is to talk. If the emotional conflict is part of a process, then sometimes no solutions can be found on a factual level, but it is about understanding the emotions and then being able to endure this phase and leave it behind.

6. impartial

Remain neutral! Don’t agree with one side. Everyone should feel understood. It is important that you listen and give the different parties the chance to present their point of view. There are hardly ever conflicts where both sides are not somehow comprehensible. As a manager, make sure that everyone understands each other and can comprehend each other’s point of view. Only then can you work with the team to develop joint solutions!

7 Win Win

The best solutions are those where everyone feels they have gained something. If one person emerges triumphant from the situation while the other grinds their teeth, then the next trouble is inevitable. Therefore: analyze objectively and find win-win solutions together!

8. management error

There are conflicts that have arisen because the manager has failed to do something, such as clarifying responsibilities. Of course, it is up to the manager to correct their mistakes and omissions.

Sometimes, as a manager, you don’t really know where your own weak points are when it comes to leadership. If you would like to reflect on yourself: We, the berliner team, offer you a location analysis in which you can, in a confidential setting get to know your own strengths and areas of development even better. >>

Request location determination/potential analysis >>>

9. internal competition

Sometimes the internal competition is also too great. This can happen when sales or service staff have an individual commission, but the task requires them to work together. Here, too, the manager must intervene and change the reward systems. This could be a team pot, for example, which promotes what is needed in the situation.

10. not a perfect solution?

If an almost perfect solution is not in sight, it may be because it does not exist.

However, it may also have to do with the fact that it takes an enormous amount of experience to deal with such processes. At this point, it can be useful to get support on board.

We are happy to support you! Get in touch >>

12 tips: Conflicts in the team between individual employees

Two of your employees are in conflict with each other. You may find out about this through one of them complaining about the situation.

What can you do?

1. open debate

Your first step should be: Ask the employee if they have already talked about it! Don’t allow them not to talk about it openly!

People like to take the easy way out and addressing conflicts directly is often not easy and many do not dare to do so. At the same time, it is poisonous for your company climate when employees talk back instead of speaking directly. Don’t let that happen!

Encourage your employees to talk to their colleagues – even if they don’t dare to do so. You can calmly demand that they express their point of view and look for solutions. Set a deadline for when the discussion should have taken place.

2. leave responsibility

Don’t take responsibility away from your employees! The manager should not appear as a rescuer who tries to resolve the conflict for the employee, as this can make conflicts much worse. Read our article on the topic of victims, perpetrators and rescuers in our blog: The drama triangle: how to escalate a conflict

3. intervene

Conflicts are always a leadership responsibility. You cannot allow teamwork to be hindered by the conflict of individual employees. Letting a conflict run its course and doing nothing is extremely dangerous. This can result in dismissals, sick leave or poor work due to a lack of information and communication. In this respect, it is important to intervene, but as you are dealing with adults, you should first give your employees the chance to resolve the conflict themselves.

4. joint discussion

If the discussion between the employees has not worked, then it is necessary to have a discussion with both of them together. It can make sense to talk to each of the opposing parties individually before the joint discussion. Many conflicts arise from different perspectives on the same topic. Both parties need to understand this. However, make it clear in the individual discussion that this will not solve the problems, but that a joint discussion must definitely take place. Only then do colleagues have the opportunity to agree on a commitment – and can find a new level with each other.

5. neutrality

For such a conversation to go well, the most important basis is your neutrality! If this is not the case, the conflict will intensify; if you take sides, you will get into hot water.

Of course you can make decisions in the interests of the company and the team’s goals, even if the situation turns out to be more attractive for one person than the other. The important thing here is that the decision has a comprehensible factual basis and is not based on your personal connections or sympathies. Show your emotional objectivity and demonstrate that every employee has the same rights.

6. listening

In an individual conversation in private, you should first simply listen and ask questions until you have fully grasped the person’s “inner map”. Only then can you carefully work towards ensuring that the other person’s position is also understood or at least taken into account. But please don’t try to fight out the conflict on behalf of the other colleague. This should be done in a joint discussion with all parties involved.

7. points of view

In a joint discussion, let each colleague explain their point of view, how they experience the situation, what their problems are and what bothers them. Reflect objectively what you hear and express your thoughts on the conflict neutrally.

Not sure if you are the right person to conduct such a conversation? If you don’t know whether both employees trust you completely and want to open up to you as a manager, or if you feel unsure about dealing with conflicts, an external mediator can sometimes be the better solution.

Request a free initial consultation for advice / mediation >>>

8. feedback rules

Here they are again: the feedback rules. These are essential for such discussions!

In a nutshell, this means

1. that your employees should start positively and state what works well with the other person, what they like.

2. then the bare facts should be described – without interpretation. The way the camera sees and hears it. Gladly using concrete situations and examples.

Step 3 is to explain the consequences of the facts – i.e. the problems that the employees have with them. It is important to talk about yourself and not about others. (I-messages instead of you-messages)

4. then formulate what the employees need from each other.

It is worth paying attention to the feedback rules so that the dispute can be steered in a constructive direction. We have written about this in great detail:

How to give constructive feedback: 10 rules for successful feedback

9. search for solution

If the problems have been brought to the table in a constructive way, then try to find the best possible solution for everyone – a win-win solution – together with your employees. This can happen in a negotiation, but sometimes it is also enough if mutual understanding has been established and both pledge to pay more attention to the needs of the other.

10. seek help

Sometimes such attempts at solutions don’t work. There can be various reasons for this: On the one hand, the manager may have too little experience in resolving conflicts or the employees in dispute may have the impression that the manager is taking sides. Sometimes a conflict is already too far gone. It is advisable to seek external help here.

The view from the outside creates a different level: you can speak more openly here than with your own boss and can really make your position clear. Such a discussion must be subject to absolute confidentiality. This can sometimes help if things have not progressed before. Such deep conflicts generate a great deal of friction and costs in terms of time, resources and emotions, so it is well worth investing in external conflict moderation in the interests of team satisfaction. As you know, we are happy to support you.

Arrange a free initial consultation >>>

11. separate squabblers

If the conflict has become so entrenched that even an external expert cannot help, it is sometimes best to distance the disputants from each other. This can be done through tasks where they have nothing to do with each other in terms of content, so that they have the opportunity to avoid each other. Carefully check whether this is a viable solution that will not have a negative impact on the team. If this is not in sight, then one of the two may even have to leave the team. Try to develop such solutions together with the employees in a spirit of commitment. You don’t want to offend someone who then leaves the company in an eager attempt to save something.

12. transparency

If someone is removed from the team, talk about it openly! This will help you avoid uncertainty in the team. For example, if a team member has raised the conflict and now sees that the colleague has to leave because of it, they may blame themselves or prefer to keep conflicts to themselves in future. Transparency, even for those not involved, is important for the team atmosphere – but without giving personal details!

9 tips: Conflicts between team and manager

1. eye level

Even if a conflict has arisen between you as a manager and one or more employees, an atmosphere must be created in which everyone can openly say what is bothering them. To do this, it is necessary to create a level playing field between manager and employee, as otherwise not everyone will dare to express themselves freely. Do you find it easy to accept feedback? Do you signal this in your team? Do you also admit mistakes? All of this is important for a good level playing field.

2. management feedback

If the entire team is involved, then it is a good idea to organize a leadership feedback session.

An anonymous employee survey at the start has the advantage that objective figures are available. Questions can be: How disruptive is a behavior? How important is this aspect to individual employees? In this way, the various aspects of the conflict can be presented well.

Would you like support with this? Then please get in touch:

Request a free initial consultation for leadership feedback >>>

3. dialog

Here, too, the most important thing is to establish a dialog between the team and the manager. Talk to the team!

If you are an open manager and your employees speak their mind anyway, then you have probably already sought a conversation first and foremost. If this hasn’t happened yet, take heart and address what you perceive. Ask questions. Try to understand.

4. self-reflection

Reflect: How do you deal with conflicts? How do you deal with criticism? Do you listen to criticism calmly? Do you take it all in first and let it sink in? Or do you tend to justify yourself straight away? The latter gives the other person the feeling that they could have done without the criticism. He/she will probably do the same next time.

Would you like to get to know your conflict behavior better in a potential analysis? Then please get in touch.

Request location determination / potential analysis >>>

5. critical faculties

As a manager, you should be understanding, open to criticism and willing to improve. If this is not the case, if you justify yourself or even create a bad atmosphere and get angry, your team will no longer be open with you. This, in turn, is bad for the team spirit, because conflicts then smoulder subliminally and this has a negative impact on the team’s performance.

A tip:Sometimes such behavior slips out unintentionally. Conflict behavior is controlled by the deepest unconscious. If you realize afterwards that you have behaved unfairly, apologize. It doesn’t cost anything, but it often puts the situation right.

6. be self-critical!

Make sure you are a person that people can talk to. Unfortunately, most managers assume for no reason that they deal openly with feedback and are capable of taking criticism. Our experience as moderators has shown us that managers then often start to argue, get loud and angry and justify themselves. Remember: this kind of behavior leads to your employees resigning and saying nothing at all!

7. conversations – individual or group?

You can either speak to each team member individually or you can speak to the whole group.

Small groups are also a good option: employees can gather in a small group what changes they would like to see and then present these in groups. The advantage of this is that the discussion becomes more factual and employees can support each other if they don’t dare to present their point of view.

For example, you could encourage a dialog in which they want to talk about what is going well and what is not going well in the company; what employees appreciate about your type of leadership and what they would change. The employees can sit down in groups of three and write down on pieces of paper what they would like to present to you.

A format like this, based on the Scrum retrospective, is often a good start to changing things in the interests of the employees. You will be surprised how much a regular feedback event can have a positive effect on your team atmosphere.

However, if the conflict does not affect the whole team, seek an individual discussion!

8. moderation

If you realize that the team is not open to you, that the team does not have the trust in you that it needs at this point, then you cannot avoid appointing a moderator. This person brings the necessary neutrality and may be able to create a setting with more confidentiality.

If a team is unable to open up, this may be due to the manager, but it may also be due to the team, for example if the team members are still very young and inexperienced.

9. successively establish trust

Make sure that the atmosphere between you and your team becomes increasingly open. The next conflict is sure to come.

Try to establish trust by not showing dominance, but by establishing eye level and encouraging the other person to express themselves. Show that it is important to you to know whether something is bothering you and that you are interested in improvements. Also seek out one-on-one conversations and show that you are an open discussion partner!